Thursday, April 28, 2011

I Thought You Said Yes

Originally written on April 15, 2011

This blog is one of the first steps in my saying "Yes, Lord" in this phase of my life.  This is a simple act of obedience.  Many writers write because they can't keep from it; writing is their passion.  This is not me--maybe it's because I'm not a writer.  For me this is nothing more than obedience; my passion is Jesus Christ.  He said to write, so I am writing.

Oh, if it were only that simple and I was that obedient to my Savior's call! A far cry from it !!!  I honestly can't tell you when He first said to write--it could have been months, years, or decades ago.  All I know is that I didn't even bother to acknowledge it until a week ago.

A week ago, I sat in a conference hall with over 7000 women, all strangers to me.  Donna Gaines was talking about how we must choose (that's an entire blog post of it's own).  Honestly my head and heart was still at home with my baby girl, and I was only half listening.  But I heard these words come from her mouth, "I thought you said yes."  She was talking about a time when she had to choose to obey God's call when He asked her to do something outside of her comfort zone.  This statement echoed in my heart--I  THOUGHT YOU SAID YES.

Here is what I wrote in my notebook:
          ---pray about writing
          --->personal blog
             I don't do adults--I definitely don't do women--I don't do writing

Then she went on to explain that she came up with the great idea to ask a friend to go with her to this speaking engagement.  Her husband teased her about getting an Aaron.  I added an Aaron comment to my notes.  Then she said something like, "Isn't it funny how God laughs and uses the things we don't do.  Like 'Idon't do adults.' and that's exactly what He called me to do."  Those words stood out to me because they were EXACTLY the words I had hurriedly scribbled in my notebook. "I don't do adults." I'm not sure what else Donna had to say that night because all I could hear repeating in my heart was "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YES.  Now write."

Clearly I have a choice, I can write or I can choose not to write.  It's been in my brain and my heart for a week and this is the first time I have done it.  And I'm sitting here writing in a notebook when what I really think God wants is for me to write publicly on a blog----okay what I fear is that He wants me to write a book.  Did I mention that I'm not a writer???? People with passion for writing write books; people like me do not write books.  Oh my, just change my name to Moses now!

So this blog is my first second baby step (the first would have to be the paper copy in my notebook).  This may be for you; this may be fore me to practice obedience; this is most definitely for His glory--otherwise I would put the pen down right now.


1 comment:

  1. Love you Amy! My life is richer from learning through your transparent heart. Sending you LOTS of hugs! In Him, Glenda