Where Are You God

****i am not a pastor or a biblical scholar.....i’m just a ordinary girl stumbling my way towards heaven...these are the ramblings of my heart this morning*** 

It’s Easter Sunday. From this side of history and in the church, I think we’ve (me included) have lost the enormity of this story. It’s easy to do that when you know the rest of the story. It’s easy to skip over the despair of Friday and the grief of Saturday because we know that Sunday is coming. And let’s be honest, our entire lives have been lived in a ‘post Sunday’ world.

We could go back to Friday because even Jesus asked of God, “my God why have you forsaken me?” There’s not a clearer way to ask, ‘where are you God?’ But, it’s Sunday, and God has my heart in Sunday. Here’s where I am......Matthew 28:5-8.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.”So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 

It’s 4 verses. How quickly did you read them? How many of you in your mind were more.....yada, yada, yada, go, there’s Jesus, tell the disciples, and get on with the story. It’s so easy to do that in this ‘post Sunday’ world. But let’s look at some more details given in Mark 16:1-8

When the Sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices so that they might go to anoint Jesus’ body. Very early on the first day of the week, just after sunrise, they were on their way to the tomb and they asked each other, “Who will roll the stone away from the entrance of the tomb?”

But when they looked up, they saw that the stone, which was very large, had been rolled away. As they entered the tomb, they saw a young man dressed in a white robe sitting on the right side, and they were alarmed.

“Don’t be alarmed,” he said. “You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here. See the place where they laid him. But go, tell his disciples and Peter, ‘He is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him, just as he told you.’”

Trembling and bewildered, the women went out and fled from the tomb. They said nothing to anyone, because they were afraid.

This is the part we skip. These women were friends of Jesus. They were at the tomb to mourn and take care of the body of their friend. I can put myself here. I can imagine leaving my home early in the morning......after not having gone to sleep at all. I can feel the heaviness of each slow step towards the grave. I feel the nervousness and dread....how we will move the stone?......I don’t want to do this.......I will do this for my friend......How is it even possible that I am here?.....the list goes on and on. I feel the weight of the 2 days of questioning, “Where are you God? This is not how this was supposed to go.”

Then they are quickly overwhelmed with facts that don’t make sense......OVERWHELMED!  The stone has already been rolled away......the body is gone....there is a man, an angel, an I don’t know what saying not to be afraid.......we’ll, darn it, I am afraid because I have no idea what has happened, and I can’t make any sense of what is before me. Where.Are.You.God????? Mark tells us that they were trembling and fled the tomb. This I totally get! I think that bewildered is a mild term to describe what they must have been feeling. 

How long was it before they were able to move through their fear enough to tell Peter and the disciples? When they told them, was it a story of faith.....’Guys, he rose from the dead just like he said he would! The tomb is empty; we will see him soon.’.......or was it clouded with fear, with doubt, with uncertainty.......’Peter....his body is gone....I don’t know where or how....there’s a guy there that says he has risen....but it was strange and scary and maybe he just stole the body and lied to us.....Peter, how can this be?.....where is God?.....Peter, he is alive....Jesus is alive!’

On this side of Sunday, it is easy to embrace the truth and the power of the resurrection........but am I really? Herein lies the real question for me. On this Easter Sunday in 2020, I find myself in a place and a world of uncertainty. In every way the world measures, we are in a mess.......massive amounts of people are dying each day, the world economy is in shambles, people are afraid of everything, heck, we can’t even find any toilet paper. Where is God in all this? With all this uncertainty and whatever plans I thought God had put before me wiped away.....am I embracing the truth and the power of my resurrected Jesus or am I stuck, unable to move, trembling in my fear? The honest truth is that it depends on the moment. Too often when I don't see God or He does not seem to be who I want him to be or act as I want him to act, I find myself 'trembling and bewildered' and doing nothing 'because I am afraid.' My God is unshakable, my faith is secure........but dang if fears don’t try to test that on a regular basis!

I don’t have it all figured out.....I don’t even have a small fraction of it figured out! But I do know that my God is bigger than whatever small glimpse I see before me. I know that at the end of this blip we call life, there is eternity with Him because of Easter. Jesus made sure of that. And while I feel like God often shakes his head, He is faithful to hold me through my fears and to fill my soul with peace. God is there to remind me of the victory of this Sunday.  In the words given to my good friend Brad on this Easter Sunday, “Let go of the fear and embrace the faith.”

Where are you God? Closer than my next breath......thank you, Jesus!

Be blessed friends!
                                            Amy